


i'm so tired, but i can't sleep

by succulents_and_fairy_lights



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, Justice League (2017), Justice League - All Media Types
Genre: Bruce is an idiot, Bruce needs sleep, But they love him, Crack, F/M, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, Gen, LET BRUCES KIDS CALL HIM DAD GOSH DANGIT, bruce/diana if u squint real hard, gratuitous use of the word "dad", i suuuuucckkkk at summaries, i was still figuring out their personailties, like 2017 old, so pls dont judge my writing based on this, this is really old
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-03
Updated: 2019-10-03
Packaged: 2020-11-22 19:11:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20879258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/succulents_and_fairy_lights/pseuds/succulents_and_fairy_lights
Summary: "Not sleeping for over a week is something that no one should ever have to go through. This was Bruce Wayne’s new life motto. It had been twelve days, three hours, and forty-seven minutes exactly since the last time he had slept."ORFive times Bruce tried to sleep, and one time he succeeded.





	i'm so tired, but i can't sleep

**Author's Note:**

> title from "I Will Remember You" by Sarah McLaughlin (because i couldn't think of anything better)
> 
> also this is an OLD fic from 2017 so it probably sucks but whatever

I.

Not sleeping for over a week is something that no one should ever have to go through. This was Bruce Wayne’s new life motto. It had been twelve days, three hours, and forty-seven minutes exactly since the last time he had slept. Groaning, he sat down at the Bat-computer to gather more information for his current case. He stared at the large screen. He blinked once. Two times. Then, he blinked once for a _really_ long time.

_I need to open my eyes, or I’m going to fall asleep. _Bruce told himself. He kept them closed.

“B. Hey, Bruce?” Bruce awoke to a hand on his shoulder and a gentle voice.

He opened his bleary eyes to see Dick smiling down at him.

“I was jus’ blinking.” He waved his hand to his son. “S’okay.”

Dick eyed him warily. “Okaaay. Well, Diana called. There’s some kind of League thing and they need you. I don’t know all of what she said. I wasn’t really paying attention.”

_At least he’s honest._ “I’ll be right there.”

II.

Bruce slowly climbed into the Batwing and programmed the coordinates. They were meeting at Diana’s in Paris. Bruce sighed. He could get some quality rest. He set the computer to autopilot, leaned back in his seat, and closed his eyes. After about two minutes of beautiful sleep, Bruce was rudely awoken by his computer.

“Sir, autopilot is unable to continue working. Switching controls to manual now.”

“No, computer wait—!” The Batwing abruptly began to fall downwards. Bruce groaned and grabbed the controls. There went his rest.

III.

“And so, I think that we need to—”

Bruce yawned what he thought was discreetly as he sat in the League meeting, head leaning on his fist. He had zoned out about fifteen minutes ago, and now Diana’s voice had turned into a soothing lilt that was lulling him to sleep. Five minutes later, he began to snore quietly. Clark, having enhanced senses, noticed it immediately, but opted to say nothing and allow his friend some much-needed rest. Barry, who was sitting next to Bruce, did no such thing. He poked Bruce’s arm lightly.

“Hey, old man, the meeting getting to be too much for ya?”

Bruce squinted up at Barry, “Huh?” He looked around. Arthur and Vic were attempting to hold back giggles, while Clark was grinning sheepishly. Diana smiled sympathetically down at him.

“You fell asleep, Bruce.”

“I was just resting my eyes. It’s fine; go on.” He leaned forward attentively, struggling to stay awake for the rest of the meeting.

Bruce miraculously managed to stay awake until the meeting finished. The minute Diana said, “Meeting adjourned,” however, he was out. Diana grinned and told the rest of the League not to disturb him.

“Old man just couldn’t make it,” Barry shook his head, laughing. Bruce was snoring, his head resting on the table. Arthur and Vic were still giggling as they left the apartment. Clark gave Diana a hug and sent Bruce’s sleeping form a sad look.

“Tell him to get some rest. He’s killing himself.”

Diana nodded. “I’ll make sure he does. I will not let him say no.”

Clark thanked her, then flew out the window, leaving Diana alone with the exhausted Batman. She walked over and began to rub his back gently.

“Bruce. Bruce, you need to wake up.”

He snorted awake, craning his neck to see Diana. He looked at her mournfully. “I fell asleep again, didn’t I.”

Diana bit her lip to hold back laugher. His face was so adorable, even if half of it was hidden behind the cowl. “I’m afraid you did.”

Bruce groaned loudly.

“When was the last time you slept for longer than ten minutes?” she crossed her arms at him.

“Week and a half ago,” he admitted sheepishly. Diana frowned and reached down to take off his cowl. Bruce let her, leaning into her touch. She gasped when she saw the rest of his face. The bags under his eyes had turned into full-fledged suitcases, his hair was rumpled and unwashed, while his lower face looked like he was halfway into No-Shave November. Diana was not happy.

“Bruce, you need to sleep. That is an order.”

“I can’t. I have to get back to the kids and I have patrol—I’ll sleep…” he paused, thinking of his schedule. “I can sleep for about twenty minutes on Thursday.” He got out of the chair and dragged his feet to the window.

“Bruce, that is ridiculous. You need rest! You can’t live like this!”

“Well, I seem to be surviving.” He pulled out his grapple gun.

Diana crossed her arms again. “Your cowl?” she flicked her hands in the direction of his head.

“Oh.” Bruce quickly put it on. He fired the gun, and swung out of the window.

“You’re killing yourself!” Diana yelled after him.

“I know.”

When he got home, Alfred was cooking dinner.

“This smells amazing, Alfred.” Bruce murmured, stumbling into the kitchen for his fifth cup of coffee.

“Thank you, Master Bruce.” Alfred smiled appreciatively, turning to Bruce. His expression quickly tuned into a scowl, however, when he saw his employer’s bedraggled state. “Bruce! When was the last time you slept?”

Bruce groaned and rubbed his eyes. If people would stop bringing it up, bearing the lack of sleep would be easier.

“Alfred, I’m fine. I’ll sleep on…” he closed his eyes, thinking. Bruce began to nod off. His head jerked downwards abruptly, and he threw open his eyes. “I’ll sleep on Thursday.” He finished. Bruce raised his cup of coffee in a salute, and walked out of the room. Alfred sighed, shaking his head, and went back to dinner.

…

“Alfred, you’re an angel.” Dick mumbled, mouth full of spaghetti. There was a general murmur of agreement from the children, and Alfred thanked them.

“Isn’t it great, Dad?” Tim turned to his father. “Bruce?”

Bruce’s head was on his chest as he snored lightly. Tim snorted.

“Guys, look!” he whispered to the rest of the table.

“WHAT.” Dick spoke around his mouthful.

“Shh!” Tim silenced his brother and pointed at Bruce. They all turned to see their father, asleep, face dangerously close to this spaghetti.

Jason snorted loudly, accompanied by Damian’s “Tt,” and Steph’s bark of laughter.

“B.” Tim tapped his Bruce’s arm. “Wake up.”

“You’re about to faceplant in your spaghetti!” Jason managed to get out, giggling.

Bruce jolted awake for the fifth time that day. He swore quietly, hitting the table. For the first time that night, Dick noticed that Bruce looked _really _bad.

“Um, B-man? Are you on some undercover case or something? ‘Cause you don’t look too good.” The rest of the kids all agreed. Jason adding, “You look like you’re homeless.”

“I know,” Bruce sighed. “I’ve drunk more coffee than Tim today.”

“Hey!” Tim was indignant. Jason gasped loudly. “How are you still alive, old man?! What would that be, _ten_ cups?”

“Twelve,” he looked down, sheepish.

Dick’s mothering instincts kicked in. “Okay, you _need _to sleep.”

Bruce chuckled. “You sound like Diana.”

“Well, Diana’s right.”

“I agree, Master Bruce. You can’t wait for another three days to sleep.”

“But I’m busy till then.” Bruce tried to protest, but was shut down by all of his family.

“Father, we will take over your duties. Sleep is vital for health and the immune system.”

“Damian, I appreciate the offer but—”

Jason interrupted him. “No buts. We’ll do it.”

“Now go sleep!” Tim ordered.

Bruce sighed, smiling inwardly. What’d he do to deserve these kids?

“I can do that.”

\+ VI.

The exact moment Bruce’s body hit the bed, he was out. He slept so deeply, he didn’t even have nightmares. Diana came the next day to check on him. Tim led her up to Bruce’s room. He opened the door quietly.

“He’s been sleeping for a total of sixteen hours.”

“Good. He has about fifty-six left to go until he catches up.” Diana joked. She looked back to the log on the bed. “He looks so peaceful.”

“Yeah. It’s nice to see him like this.” Tim smiled sadly up at her. Diana hugged Tim tightly to her, kissing the top of his head. They stood like this, silent, for a few minutes.

“Well, make sure he keeps sleeping.”

Tim promised her he would and hugged her again.

“Love you, Di.”

“I love you, too, Tim.”

All in all, Bruce slept for a total of three days. When he woke up on Thursday, he felt refreshed, revitalized, and ready to take on the evils that Gotham had to serve. When he walked down to breakfast, he smiled at his butler, thanking him for the uninterrupted rest. Finally, he raised an eyebrow and said,

“See, Alfred? I told you I’d sleep on Thursday.”

**Author's Note:**

> come rant about the batfam with me on [tumblr](https://succulents-and-fairy-lights.tumblr.com/)!


End file.
